I was middle-aged before I ever heard the phrase mindful living. As I look back at my formative years, I wish, wish, wish…I had been taught about this concept, along with how to recognize misogyny in men. So much time has been spent just surviving and getting through the day. I think this probably happens to a lot of women trying to get through life’s struggles. There’s always something urgent to take care of and we sometimes miss the small things…the mindful things.
Living a mindful existence involves intentionally focusing on the present moment with curiosity and without judgement. Too often we are submerged in a dream state where your mind is in a dozen places at once instead of in that moment. We get lost in our to-do list, our smartphones, family drama and on social media. We are, essentially, walking through life and missing some very important moments. The danger in doing this? We forget. We forget those tiny special moments that will mean so much to us later in life. Because when you get there, those memories might be the most treasured thing you have.
What are the tools to living a mindful life? Start with meditation. It’s not complicated. Begin by sitting still for just a single minute each day, eventually working up to 3-5 minutes. Dismiss any outside stimulus and sit quietly, turning your attention solely to your body and your breathing. Your only focus is your breath going in and out. And when your thoughts wander, intentionally return focus back to your breaths. Repeat until your minute is up. This is a good way to teach yourself how to stay in the moment till it becomes automatic.
How does this help? Mediation teaches you to be awake and focused instead of being in that dream state wandering from one thing to another. A good example of wandering in a dream state might be your drive home from work. You do it every day. It’s automatic. Have you ever gotten home and not remembered the drive because you were thinking about a dozen other things on the way home? That is what a dream state is like. You’re there and functioning but not focused on the moment because you have other things distracting you. Be in the present and everything that holds. Notice if the sky is blue. Feel the warmth of a sunny day. Notice how wonderful the taste of that coffee is this morning. Pay attention…notice things…be awake instead of drifting through the day just to get through it.
A very important part of being mindful is to be grateful. Take that moment to appreciate even the smallest of things. It’s all in the perspective and how you see any situation. For instance, it’s a rainy today vs thank goodness we’re finally getting some rain. The slow traffic this morning was annoying but may have stopped you from being in the wrong place at the wrong time and avoided an accident. I was swamped at work today vs I accomplished so much today. It’s all in taking that moment to find the blessing in every situation and appreciate it.
Lastly, teach yourself to be compassionate. This might sound trite, but having compassion for others can change the way you feel about the world. And compassion for yourself will be life-changing. This all circles back to having a positive mindset.
To sum it up…key practices to being mindful: daily mediation, mindful breathing, fully engaging in whatever task your’e doing, cultivate compassion for others as well as yourself, reduce screen time and foster gratitude. All these will guide you to having lower stress and increased happiness in your life.
And when those golden years come about…you will have a surplus of memories to cherish because you lived a mindful life.