Manipulation and abuse, whether emotional, psychological, or physical, are powerful forces that can gradually erode a woman’s sense of self. These tactics are often subtle at first – criticism disguised as concern, control masked as protection – but over time, they chip away at a woman’s confidence, autonomy, and inner voice.
When a woman is manipulated, she begins to question her own perceptions. Gaslighting, a common form of psychological abuse, causes her to doubt her reality, feel confused, and become dependent on the abuser’s version of events. She may stop speaking up for herself out of fear of being told she’s overreacting or “too sensitive.” Her truth becomes secondary to keeping the peace or avoiding conflict.
Abuse compounds this silencing. Physical violence or threats can make a woman feel unsafe expressing her needs or setting boundaries. Emotional abuse – such as constant belittling, isolation, or controlling behavior – feeds a narrative that her thoughts and feelings don’t matter. In such an environment, her spirit – the essence of who she is – is stifled.
The longer manipulation or abuse continues, the more difficult it becomes to reclaim her voice. She may feel shame, guilt, or worthlessness. The world may even reinforce this silence, urging her to “just move on” or stay quiet for the sake of family or reputation.
Breaking free from abusive and manipulative behavior requires more than physical escape. It demands facing the truth about yourself and whatever situation you may be in, realizing you need to heal the scars from the emotional trauma even more than any physical scars, and seeking the right kind of support. When a woman begins to speak her truth, she takes the first step toward reclaiming her power. Her voice becomes her greatest tool for recovery and resistance.
So, here is my voice. Several years ago, I came face to face with a life threatening illness. I’ve never known fear like that before. It’s said that when a person faces such an event, their lives flash before them. I found that to be true, and in doing so, I realized I had lost the person I used to be. She was opinionated, outspoken and fierce. Reflected in my mirror was a woman who had been beaten down emotionally so many times that I no longer was that woman. What had happened to steal my voice from me?
In reflection, I realized the dysfunctional and abusive relationship I had with my father was at the core of this theft. The isolation and constant criticism chipped away at my self-esteem and my sense of safety. It created a need in me to look for love, respect and acceptance elsewhere and left me vulnerable to other manipulators. I see now that this silencing of my voice made it impossible for me to be in a healthy relationship because I’d been taught that you can’t count on love and I wasn’t worthy in the first place. I expected failure and I got it. It’s so strange to me now how I always thought of myself as a liberated woman. Facing all these revelations made me realize that I was not. But that’s the thing about being a victim of a bad actor…you don’t realize it when you’re in the middle of it. That kind of manipulative behavior clouds your vision. It’s only when you step away from it and view it from another perspective that clarity happens.
Finding balance in your life requires effort. It requires facing truths about yourself and making the decision to change what you don’t like. I don’t like that I’ve been so afraid to speak my mind. I don’t like that I’ve been pulling back from people around me for fear that they will hurt me. Life is short and I don’t intend to waste any more of it worrying about someone else’s opinion and what they may or may not do. Balance starts when you love yourself first. It’s only then that you begin to have healthy relationships with others. So, stand your ground, ladies. Your voice is important and deserving to be heard. Start the healing by speaking your truth. You are not alone.